I don't regret this year.
Feb. 6th, 2011 05:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
archaesophiliaI could make the argument that I should regret this year: I've taken a year longer to finish my thesis than is proper, and I had a terrible summer, and all this anxiety and stress have been rather terrible.
Yet. Yet, yet, yet; I've learned a great deal about myself, the things I want,how I react to many situations, how to function in many ways. The lessons have been relatively hard (in some cases physically painful, in others mostly mentally painful). But I don't regret it.
My thesis is better because I've waited, read more, studied more. I'm more happy with it-and if it is the only thing I'm leaving behind, then I woud rather it made my glad. I don't regret that. I don't regret the classes I've taken, either. Those are, if anything, far more valuable than anything else.
The thing about this summer was that financially, personally, it was a huge disaster. I really should have gone and made money, if I was being financially smart. Personally, I spent the summer in pain and mostly alone. Not great.
Professionally, though, I learnt a great number of things. Firstly, to stand up for myself in a work situation. Secondly, how to recognize passive aggressive behavior in these same situations. Thirdly, that I shouldn't just grin and bear it if such a situation were to occur in the future. I regret that I lost a friend over it. I regret that this fact makes it nearly impossible for me to work with this particular group again (the senior student will always remain so, short of her leaving for another country or washing out).
I've gained many great friends. I'm more settled with myself. I've acknowledged that I probably have an anxiety problem, but that can be dealt with.
I don't regret it-some things may be regrettable-but I don't regret them.
Yet. Yet, yet, yet; I've learned a great deal about myself, the things I want,how I react to many situations, how to function in many ways. The lessons have been relatively hard (in some cases physically painful, in others mostly mentally painful). But I don't regret it.
My thesis is better because I've waited, read more, studied more. I'm more happy with it-and if it is the only thing I'm leaving behind, then I woud rather it made my glad. I don't regret that. I don't regret the classes I've taken, either. Those are, if anything, far more valuable than anything else.
The thing about this summer was that financially, personally, it was a huge disaster. I really should have gone and made money, if I was being financially smart. Personally, I spent the summer in pain and mostly alone. Not great.
Professionally, though, I learnt a great number of things. Firstly, to stand up for myself in a work situation. Secondly, how to recognize passive aggressive behavior in these same situations. Thirdly, that I shouldn't just grin and bear it if such a situation were to occur in the future. I regret that I lost a friend over it. I regret that this fact makes it nearly impossible for me to work with this particular group again (the senior student will always remain so, short of her leaving for another country or washing out).
I've gained many great friends. I'm more settled with myself. I've acknowledged that I probably have an anxiety problem, but that can be dealt with.
I don't regret it-some things may be regrettable-but I don't regret them.