archaesophilia: (tea bunny)
[personal profile] archaesophilia
We're finished with survey but not done in the field. We've still got a week or so where we'll be going around meeting people and sites. Which will be fun, unlike most of the rest of the last week and a half.

So, the second session of this season, I sprained my ankle, and fucked up both my feet so that walking was extremely painful (I cried). Thing is, it didn't start out as painful-it took a couple of days for the horror to set in. And by then I felt like I couldn't say anything (but hoped that someone would say "gee, you're lagging a lot behind everyone else, is something wrong?") lest it be seen as complaining/exaggerating/whatever. So I shut up and bore it, and lagged behind everyone else. And they didn't wait; I could be a mile or more behind them on the hike back, and no one said a word. I could say, " Hey I lost you guys in the trees/rocks/whatever" and all I got was a shrug.

The crew chief just go angry. I've worked with her before with no problems, but this time she was all stressed about getting a lot done. And she clearly wasn't interested in dealing with any problems that we might have had; her unwillingness to wait or even ask what was going on as evidence. But she kept getting angrier and cutting me out of the group.

Finally, my ankle got better and I was feeling fine for the last session. So she pulls me aside and rips into me for my performance-ie-that I was slow and sullen and had a bad attitude.

Really?  You don't see the problem with telling a team member that it would have literally killed you to slow down a little on survey to wait for them when they were obviously in pain? That isn't even bad leadership, its a simple lack of common decency.

When I went into all this, she accused me of being unable to open up. When could I have opened up? By the time I got back to camp, she had already retreated to her tent, where she camped out hiding from the rest of us. And when I did try to explain, she said, as above, that it would have killed her to wait for me.

And when she confronted me about it she mentioned that my advisor and boss "knew everything." I don't know if that means that she reported to him angrily, or that he'll just see who was writing site forms.

I'm too angry to talk about it unbiased way. I should probably stop.
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July 2013

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